Links 2024-02-12 - Lessons to Consider

This ain't advice, but it is advisable.

Taking a break from stuff to get upset about (for at least one post), I’d like to recommend two recent pieces with a neutral to pleasant demeanor. These both contain some life lessons the author suggests you consider.

As they say, your mileage may vary. I would said that mine does some as not all of these many points can I fully endorse; yet, I do endorse most.

First is Rob Henderson with “Lessons I Learned the Hard Way”. Four I particularly liked were:

26. At funerals, people don’t talk about the accomplishments of the deceased. They talk about their character. 

…

28. Be kind, but always have a “fuck off” chambered and ready to go just in case. 

…

31. If you have a good idea or an interesting thought, always write it down. Your memory isn’t as good as you think.

…

33. Many of the things that happen in your life are not your fault, but how you live your life is still your responsibility. 

Second is Adam Mastroianni with “So you wanna de-bog yourself”. His is a little harder to excerpt, but I’ll try.

Gutterballing

People will sometimes approach me with projects I don't really want to do. But if I do them, those people will smile and shake my hand and go, “We feel positive emotions, and it's because of you!” and that will feel good. So I often end up signing on to these projects, feeling resentful the whole time, cursing myself for choosing—freely!—to work hard on things I don't care about.

This is gutterballing: excelling, but in slightly the wrong direction. For most of its journey, after all, the gutterball is getting closer to the pins. It's only at the end that it barely, but dramatically, misses.

Gutterballing is a guaranteed way to stay stuck in the bog because people will love you for it. “You're doing the right thing!” they'll shout as you sink into the swamp.¹ “We approve of this!”

and,

The mediocrity trap

About half of my friends kind of hate their jobs, so they're moderately unhappy most of the time, but never unhappy enough to leave. This is the mediocrity trap: situations that are bad-but-not-too-bad keep you forever in their orbit because they never inspire the frustration it takes to achieve escape velocity.

The mediocrity trap is a nasty way to end up in the bog. Terrible situations, once exited, often become funny stories or proud memories. Mediocre situations, long languished in, simply become Lost Years—boring to both live through and talk about, like you're sitting in a waiting room with no cell reception, no wifi, and no good magazines, waiting for someone to come in and tell you it's time to start living.²

In the end the way out of the bog begins with understanding what got in you in there to begin with.

1. This line reminded me of this scene.

2. This line reminded me of this scene.